I decided to continue blogging. I want to somewhere document things that I remember. I have a lot of catching up to do, but for now...I'll just include recent.
One reason I love my job is the opportunity to love children. I see so many children who need so much love. They have so many challenges to face. I know that they will not get the love and support that they need in life. They have so much strength and resilience. They demonstrate so much love, so much joy. They are amazing.
So yesterday, one of my little friends was having a hard day. I will call him Wayne. Wayne had a symes amputation recently. He has had severe problems with wound healing, scarring, stump shaping, closure of wounds, etc. He's been walking around like a rock star! He's so awesome. He is two years old and as soon as we stood hip up to start walking, he walked. He was ready as every. Never mind that he is missing his foot- he's ready to play! He's a blond hair, blue eyed, beautiful boy! So yesterday morning I went to go see him at 8 in the morning. I like to go get him first thing, right before breakfast. I change his diaper, get him dressed and go and play a couple days a week. I walked into the room to get him and he was sitting in bed in his onsie saying "Uh-oh. Ow-ie. Uh-oh. Uh-oh. Owwie!" and pointing at his residual limb (it was uncovered which is unusual). So cute. I couldn't get him in the morning because his dressing had been soiled and he was waiting for a dressing change. The nurse also informed me that he had been running a fever, had an ear ache and was throwing up all weekend.
In the afternoon, I went to pick up another patient who is in the same room. Wayne was in his crib, looking quite miserable. My patient wasn't in the room, so I went over to give Wayne a hug. I picked him up and he just laid against me giving me a huge hug. He just laid on my shoulder and I held him for about 10 minutes. They are afraid that he has osteomyelitis so they planned to transfer him to an acute care hospital. After 10 minutes, my patient became available so I had to go and treat. I put Wayne back in bed and told him to stay there and that I would come back in a little while. He was remarkably calm and by the time that I got back he was asleep.
About an hour or so later, I was in the room to get another patient. Wayne woke up from his nap, saw me and just starting calling to me "pay, pay pay"...how he says play. He was so sad and pathetic. I was about to take him with me to play while I treated this other patient, but the ambulance transport arrived to take him to the other hospital. I said "Look Wayne. You get to go for a ride! They came for you." He just melted away into tears. I scooped him up and held him and tried to talk him into calmness. I told him his momma would come and see him at the other hospital and he could go ride and that he would be ok. Oh, it broke my heart! What I would have done to be able to ride with him and take care of him. The EMT was great and started distracting him and talking to him. Rarely in my life have I felt such love for anyone outside of my family. I think I try to put up a bit of a wall between me and the kids. It just hurts to much to become too attached. But I love him so. He has involved and very loving parents. But he is so alone right now. It breaks my heart. I want to bring him home and make him mine. I want to give him all the love and joy and benefits in life that I received. I love him oh so much!
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